Divorce isn't the answer, in most casesI've put together this list, for people who have the strength and desire to try to save their marriage.
Almost any marriage has the potential to be saved. Divorce is no bed of roses.
Most people are happier, healthier, and wealthier in marriages than divorced. Children obviously do better.
Many friends, family, counselors, encourage divorce as a way to reduce the near-term pain... while creating more long-term pain. 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce. Divorce isn't necessarily the attractive and quick solution it sometimes appears to be. Divorce may seem attractive for the short-term, but does it really make you happy deep down.
Best books on saving your marriage1. The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage
With sound, sensible advice to rescue your marriage, the book focuses on what to do after you spouse has moved out, taken up with someone else, or has said that she or he wants a divorce. It encourages you to save your marriage unless your spouse is a chronic source of physical abuse, substance abuse, or unfaithfulness and your spouse refuses to change in any one of these areas. Using revealing anecdotes and in-depth case studies, the author illustrates practical ways for marriage partners to - avoid the "divorce trap"; identify specific marriage-saving goals; move beyond ineffective, hurtful ways of interacting; become an expert on "doing what works"; overcome infidelity, internet obsessions, depression, sexual problems, and midlife crises; and get your marriage back on track - and keep it there.
Click here to view user reviews of The Divorce Remedy
2. I Love You, but I'm Not IN Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship
For couples and individuals who have "fallen out of love", who want to rekindle the love that once was, or who love each other but are looking for some "feeling" they no longer feel. The book explains what causes relationships to "cool", for emotions to be "dulled", the different stages of a relationship - what problems lie within each stage - and what you can do to get through each one successfully. The author guides you to how to argue productively and address the core of the issue; find a balance between being fulfilled as an individual and being one half of a couple; take your sex life to a deeper level of intimacy; and create new bonds instead of searching for the old ones. A good book to help couples build a stronger, more passionate bond, and emerge with a better understanding of themselves and each other.
Click here to view the user reviews of I Love You, but I'm Not IN Love with You
3. The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
A book for curing damaged relationships, transforming troubled relationships, and improving intimate relationships. For troubled marriages, for couples who've been arguing more than getting along, the book helps you understand each other, communicate better, and helps deepen the emotional part of the relationship. A good book for improving skills in dealing with people problems, and in improving all of the relationships in your life - with your spouse, parents, siblings, children, bosses, coworkers, friends, or anyone.
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4. How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
Many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, married folks who have lost their connection with each other, couples that have broken off communication altogether, are on the defensive with each other constantly, and are steps away from breaking it off. This book helps you learn exactly what you need to do today to truly transform your relationship forever. Talking things out isn't always the best way to get through to your spouse or achieve more closeness and connection. Improving a marriage can’t happen through words. This book teaches couples how to get closer in other ways, helps couples understand the behaviors that make and break marriages, and helps them find love beyond words.
Click here to view the user reviews of How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
5. Why Can't You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship
This book brings to light a problem most peope never know they have - toxic thinking. Negative thoughts about your partner are very automatic. In a relationship, instead of poor communication, it is the way we learn to think about our partners and our problems that kills trust, erodes intimacy, and cripples communication. The authors explain the nine toxic thought patterns at work in virtually every relationship, and shows couples how these distorted, negative, exaggerated thoughts can poison their love and end their union. The book presents to you techniques for changing those thoughts and behaviors, ridding yourself of negative thoughts that have lost their basis in reality and have gotten out of control, makes you take a look at how you are contributing to the problems in your relationship, and helps you establish new and more positive thinking habits for solving your problems and dealing with the stresses of everyday life. For couples who are highly discouraged, and think there are no solutions to repair a miserable relationship, the book helps you stop resenting and blaming each other for the crumbling of the marriage and helps you understand and appreciate each other in ways you may never have before.
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6. Fighting for Your Marriage: The Classic Best-seller for Enhancing Marriage and Preventing Divorce
The book reveals what it takes to have a more intimate, sensual relationship. It guides couples through how to handle conflict more constructively, how to clarify and act on priorities, how to protect their happiness, deepen and protect their friendship, keep the fun alive, and reduce the odds of breaking up.
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7. We Can Work It Out: How to Solve Conflicts, Save Your Marriage, and Strengthen Your Love for Each Other
Happy, healthy relationships are those where conflict is resolved in a constructive way. The authors show in detail exactly how to do so. Couples learn how to work on the same team, to use constructive interaction instead of anger, and for couples having communication issues - the authors help you identify the dysfunctional communication patterns you and your partner use, help you determine why you use them, help you understand what not to do, and tell you exactly what to do in order to have successful communications with your partner.
Click here to view the user reviews of We Can Work It Out
8. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
"What is the best way to tell me that he/she loves me." Your love language is the way that you most feel loved and cared for. This book helps you find your partner's love language style, and guides you to show love to your partner in that way. Some husbands or wives crave focused attention, quality time; for some its regular praise, words of affirmation; gifts are highly important to some spouse; fixing a leaky faucet, ironing a shirt, cooking a meal, or other acts of service shows love to some partners; while for some partners physical touch - holding hands, giving back rubs, and sexual contact - makes them feel valued. The author guides couples in practical steps in truly loving each other. When it may seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages, the book helps you understand yourself, your needs and your partners for a great relationship.
Click here to view the user reviews of The 5 Love Languages
These books are meant for every married personThis book list is meant for couples whose marriage is on the brink of a divorce, who are facing a challenging time in their marriage, who are unhappy with the way their marriage is going, couples for whom things are feeling way out of control, couples who want their marriage to strive/bloom instead of just survive, individuals who have been married a long time and are struggling, and any person going through relationship problems. I would recommend these books to every married person.
The right steps can make all the differenceIn a time of personal crisis, you're frantically looking for answers to what went wrong and looking for hope in what seems like a hopeless situation. You are in significant pain and have difficulty making healthy decisions. Also both partners usually lack crucial skills and insights into whats going wrong, and what needs to be done. These are just not the kind of thing either would realize on their own.
When things are in the balance, the right steps can make all the difference.
If your marriage is coming apart, it's so easy to slide into pain and depression. But no, you can do something about it. You can fix it. Select the book that best applies to you, and read it. These books help you know you are not alone in what you are feeling. All marriages have highs and lows. All marriages can make it.
Revitalize your marriage, build stronger, more loving bondsIts critical for you to manage marital problems, which, when left unchecked, can drain the life out of a relationship. These books have been hand-picked to help you understand your mate and yourself better, help you make meaningful changes in your relationship, to make your relationship successful. They'll help you rescue your marriage, strengthen your marriage, and create a lasting love.
Read them, share them, gift themGo ahead, make use of this list. Give a book to a friend who is struggling in a marriage. It maybe just what he/she needs during this time in their life.
Buy a copy for yourself, buy a copy for every couple you love. You won't need one for your kids, they'll learn by watching you.
I recommend these books to every couple, especially those in distress.
It would be great if both mates read these books, but even if you have to go it alone, do it! Best of luck and take care.
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